Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Day One: I hate you cable company, and you bad dog, and you dirty rug...

Out of sheer peer pressure, I am doing the 30-day Shred. Yes, I drank the koolaid. Screw the gym membership; momma's gonna follow Jillian Michaels.

So, here's my plan:

I am going to do the 25 minutes worth of torture, er, follow the video every day.
I am going to drink more water.
I am not giving up cupcakes, but will limit them and eat healthier overall.

Why now? Well, surprisingly, I have finally learned to love my post-baby form. Sure, it's not what I would want to look like if I had the choice, but I don't. After all, this body grew and fed two precious little boys and for that, I am grateful. It might have a little more jiggle than I want, it may decide to not cooperate when I need it to, but in all, it's quite dependable. (Although, if it keeps giving me problems like IBS and this damn tremor...I might trade it in on a more compact model. I mean, come on, what am I, 80?!) Still, even with my satisfaction of it's new form, I realize it doesn't have to have all the shake-shake.

Yesterday was Day One. I have to admit, the 'before picture' was much, much more painful than the actual workout.

Yes, I posted the dog's muffin top instead of my own. You didn't ACTUALLY THINK I was going to put that crap on here, did you?! Bwahahahahaha! Um, no.

In my typical, 'never have the right equipment' workout failure, I had to use soup cans. If the above picture wasn't enough to motivate me, then surely Campbell's "CHUNKY" soup would do the trick, right?! Yeah, not so much. (I hate you soup comany.) The dog humping me every time I attempted a push up did motivate me to rush a bit though.

THEN the cable company decided to screw me over by not letting me view Lesson One but instead, suggesting I attempt to kill myself with Lesson Two. Several of my twitter friends have commented on how hard the first day was, so to jump in to the second level...yeah, not a good idea. (I hate you cable company.)

But I pushed through. Despite the lack of equipment, dog-humping, and small children trying to sabotage me; I did it. And today, I will do it again.

But first, I am vacuuming the rug because I had no damn clue how dirty that thing was until I got crap stuck in my back fat during sit ups. (I hate you too now rug.)

Pray for us all.


  1. Ha ha ha ha...sorry to laugh, but I know where ya live! And its good you used a pic of the dog's muffin top cuz God knows what weird pervs would get all hot and bothered by a picture of your midsection. Eeew! ;-)

  2. Colleen, If ANYBODY can get all 'hot and bothered' by my midsection...they've got much bigger problems in life.

    And I'd like to meet them. ;)

  3. Damn that cable company - I could hardly move after I first did level one, I couldn't imagine starting level two.

  4. I KNOW!!! That's what everyone kept saying. I think even my cuticles are sore.